Jeff Winter

From: James, 19th November 2008

Jeff, I am an Everton fan and I think you are a melon with a bad tan.

But what I want to know is did your awful goatee affect your performance as a ref cos you were terrible?

Jeff's reply

I have just finished editing your almost unreadable message, you ignorant twat.

Go and play with the traffic on the M62.

P.S. You were lucky to get a point off the mighty Boro.

Best wishes

Jeff

From: snide_beard, 16th November 2008

Jeff

Your a top tit but what i want to know is, why a goatee?

Jeff's reply

Well thanks for your valued opinions Liam Martindale. You are that fucking stupid that you have a daft name on your email but still use your own name on the address.

Who the fuck are you and what is it to do with you how I look and dress? Get a life you sad little tosser.

Best wishes

Jeff

I personally PERSONALLY think you're a muppet Jeff and every other tool that thinks it was a penalty along with you is a muppet.

Footage shows Wheater forced the foul intelligently enough to pull the wool over the ref's eyes and so he did. The linesman was in a better and closer position and he did not even flag a penalty.

I tell you, you batty boys are just biased, blind and blisteringly pathetic.

Foot on the line my arse. What, you want the ref to get the tape measure out? Anyone with a fully functional brain cell knows the word "INSIDE" the box means exactly what it means.

It was outside and not even a free kick, let alone a penalty. Sigh.

Jeff's reply

Thanks for that. I have just finished editing your email and correcting your spelling mistakes so that people might be able to understand it.

If you do have an opinion and a point to make, it would perhaps be better to do it without doubting the sexuality of anyone who disagrees with you. These people, by the way, are people you do not even know!!

What you might be surprised to know from someone who actually does have a brain cell or two and actually knows and understands the Laws of football, is that the line is part of the penalty area!!

P.S. Look at the result 2-0 - still better than last years 8-1!!

Best Wishes

Jeff

From: Oscar, 28th November 2008

Hi Jeff, long time reader, first time contributer.

I loved the quote in your autobiography about your final match at Anfield (the one where you claim the supporters were saluting you, not their team, at the end of the game).

As much as I'd love to think it was a piece of comedy genius on your part, I can't help but think that maybe you actually believed it and are in fact a completely self obsessed wanker.

I'd be greatful if you could put my mind at ease you Smoggy beast.

Cheers

Jeff's reply

Thanks Oscar for your sincere thoughts. It was actually a piss take on my behalf but unfortunately many of the fucking idiots out there believed that I really thought that was what was happening.

Hope that my response settles your mind and you can now die a contented man.

Best wishes

Jeff